Stepford World: New Stress-Reduction Vaccine

By Jenny Thompson

Created 09/01/2010 - 7:00am

Stepford World: New Stress-Reduction Vaccine

Tell me if this seems like a good idea to you...

Scientists modify some genes (we're already in deep water!), attach the genes to a herpes virus, and then prepare this Frankenfomula in an injectable form.

If that sounds like the height of vaccine insanity, hold on because we're just getting started. (And if you suspect this is one of my "gotchas," I'm sorry to tell you it isn't!)

Inside the body, the injected virus travels to the brain where the modified genes neutralize excess hormones that play a key role in chronic stress. And presto! Stress is relieved.

But before you roll up your sleeve to receive this vaccine you should know one more little detail: Those hormones that are getting "neutralized" also play important anti- inflammation and anti-cancer roles in the immune system.

Now what could possibly go wrong with THAT plan?

Calm and focused

Even though this stress vaccine is still in the animal- testing stage, it's already being called the "Sapolsky shot," named after Dr. Robert Sapolsky, a Stanford University neuroscience professor.

But as Dr. Sapolsky himself admitted to the Daily Mail, "To be honest, I'm still amazed that it works."

Well...it works in rats. Let's not go jumping to the conclusion that it will SAFELY work in humans.

The vaccine tampers with brain chemistry to produce a state Dr. Sapolsky calls "focused calm." So the hope is that chronically stressed-out individuals will be able to cruise through a stress-filled life with a relaxed demeanor.

A Stanford colleague of Dr. Sapolsky's explained to the Daily Mail that the engineered virus would "short-circuit the neural feedback caused by stress, that lingering feeling of tension after a crisis has passed."

Okay, but what about crisis situations that take years to pass? Long-term problems with health, finances, and the relentless demands of a career and family life are the factors that fuel chronic stress. Mired in any one of these circumstances, would the Sapolsky shot actually give you a focused calm and a Stepford Wife smile?

If so, that's pretty scary.

Dr. Sapolsky's colleague boldly predicts: "This could change society."

But who wants to live in a society of calmed-out zombies injected with herpes?

The opening line of the Daily Mail article suggests that we forget age-old stress remedies like yoga and meditation. And yet, just a few years ago, Dr. Sapolsky addressed a conference on science and meditation.

At that conference, he and others (including the Dalai Lama) discussed research that shows how meditation supports immune function, manages depression, and reduces levels of cortisol, which is known as the "stress hormone."

I'm not sure how Dr. Sapolsky got from a conference like that to a genetically modified vaccine that uses herpes virus to mess around with hormones in the brain. But this we do know: You can't make a fortune by telling stressed out people to close their eyes, breathe deeply, and wait patiently for their focused calm.